Why the topic today? I don't know actually. I'm just agreeing to this statement, with regards on @naomineo's recent blogpost on her break-up with jianhaotan. Personally, I kinda ship them alot, and I think they make a really great and cute pair together. Maybe their relationship failed to work because one stops putting effort and they drift away even though they see each other almost everday (refer to Naomi's blogpost).
I'm currently in my longest relationship so far, 21 months, I would to say, maintaining a relationship is not easy, and never take the other half granted. Recently I told TK that we haven't sat down and have a heart to heart talk over Llao llao for a very long time already. The last time we did was probably last year...? You see, it's so long that I can't even remember. And there are times that we both did something that upset/ pissed each other off but we didn't voice it out, fearing it would 'spoil' our relationship. But that was not the way to go. After bottling up, I imploded and exploded so badly at him a few weeks back, that led him to post this on his instagram:
(Crap he deleted that post, but this is what he posted.)
Little did I know, when I vented it all out, he was the one getting hurt. (Though I was being hurt when he did certain things or said something that he didn't really mean.) And reflection time called. I began to realize I was acting as the really asshole girlfriend, when he was keeping it all inside of him. I felt guilty, and really sorry that I couldn't face him properly for a week.
We're still together, and I'm doing my best to be a less asshole girlfriend, I mean I'm doing my best to be a less hot tempered and understanding girlfriend. What we kept on doing like we just started was, sending long & sweet messages (I still do but Mr BusyMan hasn't done it for a very long time). My biggest guilt would be that I stop making cards for our month-saries, and we stopped taking photos of us :-(
I think the way to staying in love, and to maintain a healthy and lovely (and romantic) relationship is that:
- You must always communicate, have heart to heart talks to share what's bothering you or what he/she did made you happy and blessed. Etc etc.
• For us, we often sit on a rooftop, have a drink/froyo and talked about life and experiences and share our thoughts and feelings.
- Always remember to do things you did for one another before, and keep doing it (not out of a habit/ "being expected"/ being forced) out of sincerity.
- Small little (sweet) things can actually mean more than big items.
• To me, when TK writes me a birthday card, I feel much more loved and blessed and thankful than he buys me a birthday present. I like handmade gifts which explains why my best friend makes handmade stuff for me for my birthdays.
• To him, my tight hugs are really warming and loving to him and he feels very loved with my hugs, and my silly faces to make him laugh.
- Always take turns to plan a date, or plan a date together.
• I'm usually the one who plans the date and the truth is, I do get tired at why am I always the one doing the planning, and I often laments how he doesn't help. But he does, his plan is just... not up to my liking and I end up doing the planning myself again. But recently, we have decided to just go with the flow since we have nothing much to explore in sg already.
There are times where I felt like giving up, and giving into the thought of letting go.
I wouldn't deny that. But who doesn't feel that sometimes?
But what kept me holding on strongly was that I know there's this man here, in my life, who loves me so much, and would do anything just to make me smile and laugh because that makes him happy to. I think about how we planned our lives together and think about the places we wanna travel together, and everything just falls back in place again.
What would help to keep the relationship going is that you recognize the problem, you find a solution, you apply to the root of the problem, and you move on from there. My biggest fear would be being not good enough, and the fear comes back whenever I feel weak, and I guess I'm glad that I am strong enough to overcome the fear and tell myself not to let it destroy me or us.
With this, I shall end this weird thought post, and with this:
111 more days to our 2nd anniversary, and I know we probably wouldnt be able to celebrate it on the actual day, but I hope we have a great and memorable date before we both fly to different places.
Love you, the love of my life. ♡
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